


Q-tie Pie

by Jade_Dragoness



Series: Baby q [2]
Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Babysitting, Gen, Jim is babysitting, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, baby!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-13
Updated: 2014-01-13
Packaged: 2018-01-08 14:41:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,413
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1133850
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jade_Dragoness/pseuds/Jade_Dragoness
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jim drags Bones into his babysitting gig.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Q-tie Pie

**Author's Note:**

> Written because I cannot resist the idea of Jim and baby q. =D

Little q was the best wingman Jim had ever had, and yeah, Bones was a great wingman too but the baby was freaking magic, and not just because he was born to a race of all-powerful, omniscient, higher-planed beings. All Jim had to do was stand in place with the baby resting on his hip and he was quickly swarmed by cooing sexy women, lovely hermaphrodites, and even a scattering of gorgeous men. All of them willing to give Jim –and the baby– their attention and affection.

Jim picked up more than fifteen personal com-numbers in the space of as many minutes. He was gonna be set for the a month of leave next time the Enterprise came back to Earth before the day was over at the rate he was going. Which was pretty awesome, except that he really couldn't do anything until Q came by to pick up his kid. Jim first responsibility was to the little guy... which was kinda a drawback on a wingman now that he thought about it.

When he'd been waylaid Jim had been on his way to meet up with Bones, figuring that out of everyone he knew and who he could call up on to help him without feeling guilt that they were only doing so because he was the captain. Bones had real life experience with babies and even had one at his own at one point. He'd be able to scan the little q and tell Jim if there was anything he should know about him. Like what should Jim avoid feeding him? Did he even have to feed him? What did Q eat? 

Probably nebula or gas giants or dark matter or something equally ridiculous.

Jim really should've asked Q for the operations manual.

So Jim had been taking a long, meandering route through Starfleet Academy to get to Starfleet Medical HQ and had collected the crowd of mostly young ladies. It took about an hour before he managed to get free of the attention. Baby q wasn't any help in getting away. He soaked up the attention and cooed right back at everyone, not being at all bothered by all the strangers. Or the way they'd reach out to touch his wiggling booted feet and chubby fists.

Jim finally managed to excuse himself when he realized that Bones' shift was nearly over and he if wanted to surprise him he better hustle. Jim barely made it. His friend had already come out the plastic aluminum lined skyscraper. His back was to Jim and his dark hair was being ruffled by the sea breeze coming from San Francisco harbor. He was walking away from where Jim was but Jim would've recognize him anywhere. Hell, Jim could be blind and he'd still recognize Bones by his footsteps (and his general air of grumpiness).

“Bones! Hey!” Jim called out. He tucked the littlest q under his arm like a football making the baby make a startled noise before he broke into loud giggles as Jim broke into a jog.

His friend had stopped in his tracks with his back to Jim. He shook his head, no doubt muttering mean things about Jim's parentage under his breath, before turning around just as Jim caught up with him. Whatever caustic thing Bones was going to say went unsaid, as his eyes grew wide at the sight of the baby. 

“Oh, my god! Who in the nine-hells thought it was a good idea to give you a baby?” Bones yelped.

“The father!” Jim answered cheerfully, shifting the baby up in front of him so he was facing Bones. “Say hello, Q-tie Pie!” Jim had been trying to come up with nicknames for the kid, just 'q' was too boring. Q related puns were amusing him at the moment.

Obligingly, the baby kicked his little booted feet, gurgling spit until his chin was shiny with saliva. It was gross and disturbingly adorable all at the same time. Bones melted like a pat of butter on a hot skillet. Jim could practically hear the sizzling; even his own knees still felt weak when he was exposed to full on baby cuteness without warning. 

Bones didn't stand a chance. Jim smirked. 

Bones caught the expression of smugness tried to glare back but all Jim had to was lift the baby into his face and – bam! – instant grumpy mood repellant.

Best. Baby. Ever.

Bones' smile was all gooey around the edges, which Jim couldn’t blame him for, even as he asked, “Who was stupid enough to think that you'd be able to care of baby?”

“Hey,” Jim protested, insulted. “I'm captain of starship. I'm personally responsible for the lives and safety of over 1,000 sentient beings. You don't think I can take handle one baby?”

“No,” Bones said, dryly.

Ouch. Jim pouted, unable to help feeling a little hurt at his friend's lack of confidence in him.

Baby q's face scrunched up as if his nose itched or he wanted to sneeze. Or cry. Mentally swearing, Jim raised his left hand before q's eyes and wiggled his fingers even as he cuddled him close. “Hey, hey, none of that now. Bones didn't mean it. He's being a grumpy bear. A grumpy teddy bear.”

The baby's expression looked conflicted for a long second as if he was trying to make up his mind about wanting to cry or letting himself be distracted before his small, chubby cheeked face smoothed out. He watched the dance of Jim's fingers with wide fascinated brown eyes, making a grab and catching Jim's forefinger after a couple of attempts. Little q's honest wide smile at his catch made both Jim and Leonard involuntarily grin back. 

Of course, then the baby tried to eat Jim's forefinger, furiously gumming at it like he expected it to have a candy center. Jim really hoped the cannibalistic tendencies tapered off at some point but especially before the milk teeth came in.

“Look, I couldn't hurt the little Q-cumber even if I tried,” Jim said, as his finger was gnawed on and got soaked with baby spit. “Not, that I would,” he added hastily at the horrified expression which swept across Bones' face. “His dad is Q.”

Bones frowned in confusion. “Q? Wait, you mean that god-like alien that Spock hates with the power of thousand neutron stars? That Q? The one that nearly got you killed? Twice!”

“He saved me before the ship exploded,” Jim said, shrugging. It had been a totally FUBARed situation and Q had been more helpful than a hindrance even if he'd gone about it the most annoying way possible. And that had been the first time the Enterprise had met Q. On the second meeting Spock had nearly yelled. It had been _amazing_. “So I'm working off the favor by taking care of his baby. Actually, I didn't get much of choice about it.”

“How long are you stuck playing babysitter?”

“Um...Q didn't exactly give me a timetable.” Which, in retrospect, was something Jim really should've asked for. Oh, no. Crap.

Bones slapped his forehead and groaned. “You forgot to find out? The Q are freaking ancient. Older than the Earth. For all you know a short while to them is the equivalent of a century.”

Jim waved his concern away. “I doubt it'll be that long. That would mean that Q would be letting me influence his son for all that time.”

“Good point.” Bones added under his breath, “I certainly wouldn't risk it.”

“I heard that!” 

“Well, come on,” Bones sighed, and turned to head back to Starfleet Medical. “Let's get the little guy checked out. Have you even fed him yet? Something other than your dirty fingers?”

Jim freed his finger from the baby's mouth, who made an unhappy gurgling noise of protest at losing his chew-toy. He passed the baby to Bones, who took him with expertise. No hesitation or fumbling at all, completely opposite to how Jim had first held him. “I don't even know if Q need to eat. Do you?”

Bones sighed, “Well, let's find found.” The baby gurgled and flailed his tiny hands until he had a grip on Bones' lower lip, pulling it down. The baby's grip didn't quite hide the smile that turned up the corners of Bones' lips.

“Hey... do you think you could watch him a couple of nights? I just got all these great com-numbers and–”

“Damnit, Jim! No!”

End


End file.
